5 Mistakes Pastors Commonly Make That Could Cost Them Everything…
Pastors are not perfect. No surprise here. But what might also be shocking is that pastors are human, just like anyone else. Ok. Maybe not quite that shocking. But it can be our tendency to look at our pastors as if they are Jesus Christ himself. Placing these expectations on pastors can be overwhelming and add more stress to an already stressful calling. But as pastors, we have the ability to decide whether or not we take on the weight of the expectations of others. It is our choice on how we show up and how we choose to pastor our people. We will make many mistakes throughout the course of our careers because once again, we’re far from perfect. But after talking to many seasoned pastors and experiencing the ups and downs of pastoral ministry in my 8 years in this field, I am convinced that these 5 mistakes, if not remedied, can cost pastors everything!
NOT PRIORITZING ALONE TIME WITH GOD
This is a big mistake that many pastors make. From checking emails to chairing board meetings to visiting members to preaching during the worship service, pastors can get so caught up in all of the menial and mundane tasks of pastoring that we sometimes fail to spend quality time with God. And this is where our downfall begins. Just like we have to charge our cell phones everyday in order for them to work for us, we must also connect with God, the ultimate source of our power each day if we are to be empowered to do the work that he has called us to do. But the problem is that many of us have learned how to produce with without being recharged by the source. We’re running on low battery power because we have not made time to plug into our Source each and every day. And when we are disconnected for two long, our batteries will eventually die. This is what happens when we start just acting the part instead of being the part. We start to pretend because we do not attend our morning meetings with the Master. God has called us to do this work, so we must make sure that we are checking in with Him to make sure that we are empowered to take on whatever task may come our way each day.
NOT PRIORITIZING OUR FAMILIES
A few years ago my wife attended a pastors’ conference with where there was a breakout session for the spouses of pastors. She told me that many of the ladies in the room seemed to be in a state of depression or disillusionment as they recounted their experiences being the “First Lady” of the congregation. I have many friends who are PK’s (pastor’s kids") who I know no longer want anything to do with the church because of the negative experiences that they had while attending the churches that their parent pastored. There are children of clergy that have told me that they were upset because they felt that the children of the church had more of a relationship with their parent than they had.
It is vital that pastors prioritize preserving their best selves for their families. We have a tendency to give the work of the church our best energy, only to give our families the leftovers when we return home. And the chilling truth is that churches will come and go, but your family is who will be with you until the end. We cannot keep allowing our ministry to become our mistress! God has called us to first take care of our families (1 Timothy 5:8) above all else. If we continue to neglect giving our families our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual attention, we may not have a family to return home to when it is all said and done.
NOT CREATING OTHER FORMS OF INCOME
One of the biggest mistakes pastors make is not finding ways to monetize their ministries. The reason why this is important is because based on salary alone, pastors in my denomination do not make enough to keep up with the rising costs of inflation. There are many older pastors that are unable to retire because they cannot afford the cost of living without a full paycheck coming in. In order to not fall into the trap of serving past your time, it important for pastors to find ways to monetize their ministry. Even the apostle Paul had a side hustle of making tents (Acts 18:3) which he used to supplement his ministry. Pastors can explore ways to write books from their sermons, create content, provide mentoring or consultation to other pastors, or find speaking engagements where they can make supplemental income. Whatever the path you choose, make sure you are thinking about creating another stream of income so that you do not find yourself strapped for cash when your time pastoring is up!
NOT LIVING AUTHENTICALLY
Pastors have a tendency to try to assimilate into the expectations that are placed on them. This causes many of them to become pretentious in order to “go along to get along”. But even though living behind a mask can be exhausting, it can also become damaging. The pastor lives in a constant state of dissonance that often causes them to repress their true self. Because they feel unable to be imperfect or feel that they will be judged for being themselves. And when a pastor feels like they have to stuff their true identity and personality in the proverbial closet, these imperfections have a way of causing the pastor to implode emotionally, mentally, and behaviorally. Many pastors suffer from depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, etc. It is important as a pastor to not allow yourself to be placed on a pedestal that is only reserved for Jesus to stand on. You’re on perfect. And that’s okay. You will make mistakes. And that’s okay. You are still working on some things in your life. And that’s okay. Set realistic expectations of yourself for your congregation and eventually they will have to adjust to who you really are.
NOT TAKING BREAKS
This is a big one for me, and it almost took me out in 2018. I remember I was so determined to be the best pastor I could be. I worked 60+ hours a week, seven days a week. I tried my hardest to do everything in my power to make sure that my church would grow and that we would reach people for God. And then it hit me. A fatigue that had me immobilized, unable to leave the my bed for more than 10 minutes at a time. The doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. All I knew is that if I didn’t find ways to get rest and rejuvenation, my unhealthy behaviors would take me out.
Pastors, take your breaks! Make sure you get 8 hours of sleep. Go on regular vacations. Guard your off days (notice I said days and not day). Take time in between meeting to gather yourself. Take your Sabbatical. Pace yourself. God never called us to do everything all the time. In fact, he created the Sabbath because He knew that He created our bodies for rest. If you don’t give your body rest, it will eventually take it, one way or the other.
So pastors, stop making these mistakes. Learn from the mistakes of others. Operate wisely. Because if you don’t, your calling and your career may come to a sudden end…
Did I miss anything? What are some common mistakes that pastors need to avoid? Join the conversation in the comments below!
